Stories of Resilience:

Falling In Love With Myself

Her Story:

Name: Unique Shaw-Smith, also known as Dr. U⠀
Born: Oakland, CA, USA
Lives: Honolulu, Oahu, HI
Handle:  @energynique

Growing up I didn’t have a lot of positive role models, let alone women. I grew up at the height of the crack epidemic, which had ravaged my family and community. Most of what I learned as a young girl was through observation and experimentation. I knew what I didn’t want to do or become based on my observations and I had to figure out how to become the person I wanted to be through trial and error. I was very smart and engaged in school since I knew this was the key to success.

However, I was also young and impressionable, which meant that I made a lot of mistakes and bad decisions at a very early age because I lacked a strong foundation of value. I sought validation and stability through intimate relationships which exacerbated personal trauma. In college, I was betrayed by someone I trusted, and it changed my life. From then on, I had to step into my vulnerability and face my shadows head-on. The experience grounded me and forced me to be more intentional with the types of decisions I made and the type of people I allowed in my life. I had to learn to love myself through the mess. What I know now that I wished I knew then was that I had everything I needed inside of myself. No one could save me except for myself. No one could love me the way I wanted to be loved except myself. I had to set that standard for myself and it has been the most valuable lesson I have learned. Fall in love with myself, then decide whether to share that with someone else.

I became interested in healing practices mostly to heal myself and now I am interested in using my knowledge and skills to help other women heal and grow in love.

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