Name: Adya Roy
Born: Singapore
Lives: Seattle
Handle: @thedesicareerwoman
The life that was laid out for me was to go into Medicine or Engineering, stay at a job for years and continue to be an engineer till my MBA.
Normal in my family is a size 2-4, a quiet girl who accepts whatever comes her way with her head put down. From the age of 8 when I started to curve out. I was born with wider hip structure and my skinny would still barely be a size 4. My curves pushed my parents to limit my food and increase my body dysmorphia for years, being raised carb free from 8 to 18.
When I joined college, I thought that that was the only life possible, and continued to eat salads etc. However, soon into my freshman year, I realized how much of life I had missed out. How many families regularly ordered pizza or wings, and enjoyed food as a community event. I was disappointed that I had never tried for anything more. I had never associated food with giving me happiness due to all the deprivation.
It took me a while to realize the issue. I went back for Christmas maybe 8-9 lbs heavier and my Mom FREAKED. She put me on an all salad diet, no proteins or carbs this time. And needless to say, every time I went home, I would drop 10-15 lbs at a minimum and be miserable and skinny. I never found others who had been through something similar. My friends and their moms have helped me realize what normal motherhood should look like, what “care packages” from home include (mine only include oatmeal raisin protein cookies and frozen sabji/daal)
I had to go to therapy and still do, as well as social media, to share my story. The body shaming I face regularly from my own family is enough to crush me but the empowerment I get from social media is insane.
One of my largest breakups till date was my biggest watershed experience. I used to create videos talking to myself, or talking through my thoughts. I have a tendency to get existential/ suicidal when I am overwhelmed so this helped me get through the cycle
My blog is more about my body positivity and my career-forward nature. Every time I get a DM that my post resonated with somebody, I know I have succeeded. My goals are to grow to 10K and create a group course to navigate the job hunt.
I believe in filling my cup, which I didn’t even know I had a cup! We know what is best for us. Yes, I may be clinically overweight right this moment, but that is because I was raised on an 800-1000 calorie diet and deprived my whole life. Deciding for yourself is a privilege but one I would give up ANYTHING for.
